Things Writers Absolutely Hate Being Told

There are certain things that writers really don't like hearing from people who are non-writers. Sometimes, there are even things from within the writing community that just grate on people's nerves as well. This is my attempt at a somewhat comprehensive list so that all you well-meaning people who are friends with writers don't accidentally set off a landmine in your relationship.

"Are you going to put me in it?"

Putting real life people into a story is just asking for trouble.

"Stop writing that, and write this instead."

It's even worse when the person saying this knows that you like writing what you write. It's completely awful when they suggest something that they know you don't like, or make a suggestion only because it's popular and sells well. Saying this will probably get you taken off the potential beta readers list.

"But what do you want to do as a job/career?"

Listen, I know it's not easy to make it solely as a author. Most writers can ackowledge that. Some don't even want writing to be their primary source of income, anyway. But there are ways to pull it off, so this is a little rude even if you're only trying to give them a reality check.

"Can I read it?"

It's not really rude to ask to read a manuscript or draft, but a general rule is that no one sees the first draft except for the alpha(s). It's how things work. Trust me when I say that you don't want to read a first draft. If it's not a first draft, still don't be surprised to get a "no." Writing is often very personal and writers can be sensitive about who reads it.

"You probably won't get published because..."

Where there is a will, there is a way. Publishing has never been easier in this day and age. Don't put someone's dream down because of your personal opinion on their capabilities.

"Cool story! I think you'll be great!"

Never say this if the writer is asking for feedback on a draft. It's useless.

"This is horrible."

Again, completely useless if the writer wants feedback for editing purposes. Also very rude.

"You should write everyday."

It's really hard to do that. It's difficult to write 30 days in a row, back to back, much less for at least an entire year.

"You should research publishers/agents/etc. and find out what they want."

Use this very carefully. Some people don't want to be published, after all, and others have done extensive research already. 9 times out of 10, this is going to perceived as a rude and shallow comment.

"It's impossible to get published, why bother?"

It is not impossible. Self-publishing exists now, and querying can get you published too. It just takes time and effort. Sure, you won't have a best-seller immediately, but you'll at least have a book.

"Why are you writing a story if you're not going to publish it?"

Maybe just for fun. Never assume someone is/isn't going to publish. Writing can be a hobby, career, or habit. Whatever you make it into.

"You're still editing?"

Editing takes a really long time. Especially for something like a 100,000 word long fantasy novel with in-depth worldbuilding and multiple realities.

"Why are your wasting time writing, don't you have anything better to do?"

This will most likely get you kicked out, removed from the potential betas list, and/or politely excluded from everything writing related for eternity. It's a major offense to those who take what they do seriously.

"When are you going to do real writing?"

All writing is real writing because if it wasn't, it wouldn't exist.

"I don't like to read [genre], but I bet I could write [genre] too."

Not everyone can write the same genres, and not everyone enjoys the same genres. Save yourself the pain and agony and write something you like.

"I don't like to read, but I'm writing a book."

You're going to have to read what you wrote eventually. In detail, up close and personal.

"Can you read my draft and tell me what you like?"

This is probably the single worst way to ask for feedback. Don't even bother asking someone to read it if they're not going to tell you what the bad parts are. Editing is all about finding the bad parts and fixing them.

"I think I'll publish a book someday."

This is the kind of off-hand comment that drives writers up the wall. Publishing isn't something you should lightly.

"Are you going to keep writing now that you've published a work?"

This should not be a question. Either way, it's going to offend the person being asked. Just don't do it, it's way too easy to inadvertantly insult someone with this.

"You like to write? You should be a [writing career]."

Careers are personal choices, and not everyone wants to make writing the way they pay the bills.

"You'll have plenty of time for that when [kids grow up/you graduate college/etc.]."

There is always time now. Maybe you just need to move your schedule around a bit. Maybe you have time the already. Maybe you need to give up on all the little things you use to procrastinate. Don't tell someone they can't write because they "don't have time."

"You need to add more [type of people/romance/etc.]."

9 times out of 10 this will be ignored after a little investigation. If it's actually constructive advice, then it may be used. If it's about changing the whole book, then say goodbye to your beta reading privileges.

"You keep saying you're writing and that you want to get published, but you never do."

Publishing takes time. Some people aren't agressively working towards publication, either.

"Is this character based on me? I bet it is."

No. Just no. Making real people into characters is a bad idea.

"S/he only wants to be a writer because s/he doesn't have any friends."

This is extremely rude. Especially when it's said to someone else in front of you. In fact, many writers find like-minded communities and friends through writing groups and platforms.

"When will you quit writing and get a real job?"

Writing can be a real job, either full-time or part-time.

"Can I read it when you're done?"

Yes. Published books are readable by the public. And since you asked, you'd better read it.

"When you get famous can you please [put me in the acknowledgements/make me a character/etc.]."

Asking for something like this is very rude and makes you come across as arrogant or self-centered. Say this line, and it'll never happen.

"Why haven't you made money from your work?"

Because people need to actually buy the book.

"Are you still working on that writing thing?"

I think we already covered this. It takes time. Sometimes, years.

"Have you ever considered quitting writing?"

Why would you want to quit if you enjoy it?

"Can you stop being so dark?"

There is usually a reason and point behind the dark elements of a book. If you're not able to understand why, then that's your loss. That said, I personally don't promote needlessly dark stories. Darkness for the sake of darkness is pointless.

"The lead character is always portrayed how the author views themself."

I personnally try extra hard to make every character, including the protagonist unique and special and not a replica of myself. If I didn't, my stories wouldn't be nearly as interesting.

"I think you don't really like [type of writing] and would rather write [other type of writing] more."

I don't dedicate hours to something I dislike of my own free will.

"You're overreacting. Writing's not that hard."

Yes, yes it is. It's actually recommended that you go through around 8 sets of edits, not including rewriting and revisions.

"You think writing is fun?"

Why do you think people write outside of school?

"Just write."

It's very offensive if said by a non-writer.

These are pretty much the basics. Any variations or combinations are equally rude and unwanted. Thanks for taking the time to read this.